tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30945621628434123352024-03-14T03:36:00.941-04:00Peripheries of the PalateAll Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-69886596099139804572010-08-12T12:38:00.002-04:002010-08-12T12:49:20.197-04:00Back of the House<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/TGQl2M-ZkdI/AAAAAAAAAKI/i76cUuZZX5M/s1600/DSCN2742.jpg"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/TGQl2M-ZkdI/AAAAAAAAAKI/i76cUuZZX5M/s200/DSCN2742.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504566257679700434" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The industry in all of its manifestations; to dine and drink in a place of work and play and stress and nonchalance.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I ran the expo. line. The restaurant at my fingertips. Tables 17-26. Tables 30-64. 70. 100 AKA VIP.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> “Halle, you got this?”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> “Absolutely.”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The rush, the ruddy cheeks pumped by adrenaline and burner flame. The flare of heat and bursts of smells like fireworks. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Hey boys listen up! Table 40 is an order-fire-pickup! Grill, Sautee Sides and Hot Apps you are on that with them for entrees!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> “Heard!” they yell in unison.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My chest swells like a mamma bird after a return from 4 days in a city that nearly swallowed me whole. I missed Detroit and found home in a city most shy away from. I missed this. </span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">They have all moved up in stations. Sean on sauté, Nick on hot apps, Noodles learning how to roast marrow in 12 minutes, Erik on sides., Pedro expo-ing. I saw them start at garmo. Fluffing lettuce, raw root veggies and chickpeas in a giant metal bowl, moving on to the eruption of pure fire on those burners, thundering of pans again metal, taming them like wild bulls. The adrenaline that poured out of them with their sweat.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The bar is full and no one occupies the seat next to me, and more often now I wish one of them shared a meal with me, perhaps rubbing my sore feet from 8 plus hours skittering back and forth in leather Converse All Stars, feeding me with their fingers, nails bitten down to the callused nub, stained with charcoal and grease, and my tongue would search for the salt and oil there.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The drive home conjures up memories of the shift, the boys, my boys, all of them, their hands working against the grain, tendons taught underneith their leathered skin. And I wonder:<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What do they go home to at night? And who? Their yawns, unrelenting and consuming after 15 plus hours on their feet, These men move in listless shuffles through hallways and doors, acrossed tiles, carpet and hard wood. They do it with purpose, their metabolisms dwindling, breath and heartbeats tempered. They wash off the sheen, the salt, all of which I’ve tasted on the peripheries of my mouth and the soft, fleshly part of my lips. What do they smell like when they step heavy and dripping from their late night showers? Perhaps, still, the sent of salt with a hint of mint, that tangy bite of bar soap. I bet they smell like brand new mornings.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">French trills leave his tongue in the random words that replace English ones in his self-meditation. </span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Mis en place</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">En croute</span></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"></span></span></i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">On y va</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">!” he will yell, splice the French in between English like a </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">sandwich au jambon. </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He will do this when he’s feisty or nostalgic.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And when he slides a finished plate of the pan roasted lemon chicken nestled in a shallow puddle of tarragon broth and root veggies, “la poulet” escapes my own lips, pointing to the steaming breast with my pinky. His eyebrows rise slightly over the scar on his forehead.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Parlez vous francaise?”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Un peu,” I pinch the air with my thumb and forefinger.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Ah, bien. Tres bien.”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The oysters are nestled in a shallow trough of ice, monstrous and engorged with their own briny juice, more than a mouthful and begging to be sucked down in the most distasteful and raunchy manner.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Dude if I ate this serving of oysters I’d have a raging hard-on for DAYS.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Oh my God. Norm…TMI…you’re like my older brother.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Tough love, Halle. Think of it like kindergarten. The more we give you shit, the more we actually like you. “</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">They push my buttons; know how to tease me, what pisses me off and what makes me crack a smile. They say I don’t smile enough. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Pedro likes to fuck with the cuffs of my t-shirt. I roll them twice for preference, and because I hate it when t-shirt sleeves nearly reach my elbow. But Pedro likes to flick at them, unroll them with a quick little flick of the wrist. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Reeeeelly Pedro?” I like to mock his accent…he likes it too.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Stoooooop.” He wines, mocking me back.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Gahhhh you’re all like big brothers GEEZE.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“You love it.”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I do.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Halle.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> “Yo.” I don’t look up from my polishing.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“What do you love?”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No one has ever asked me that, and if they have its been so long that there are only faint traces left in my recollection like eraser dust, as if someone just swiped at the chalkboard for a clean slate.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And just like that all kitchen banter halted, even the pans on their burners hushed to a dull hiss and spit of grease. Whether or not those boys actually wanted to know my answer wont be determined, but that pause was deafening over the rhythm of the kitchen.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“…What do I love…” heads tilt, movements lag nearly to a steady stop. “Milk foam. I fucking love the foam left over from a well-made cappuccino, have to get every last little bit from the bottom of the cup. And I have to use my finger, doesn’t taste as good with a spoon.” Silent responses seep into my skin, nods and snickers, a few grunts of approval. I like to think they enjoy my less than normal persona. Anywhere else, any other time in my life I would have hidden, scampered off or changed the subject. But they make it ok to me. I know who I am now because of them.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“What else?” A voice to my left, from garmo, I think. I smile and bite my bottom lip. They want to know more. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Warm sheets, you know, right out of the dryer with a little zaps of static electricity. Oh god, and fresh bread, Jesus when you guys throw those massive loaves of sourdough over here on the cutting board I immediately start drooling.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Hot.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“You know it.” Those baguettes of sourdough and multigrain remind me of my adolescence when my father tackled baking his own bread, especially on Christmas, a stoli dotted with bits of fruit and a sheen of butter and sugar and dinner accompanied with homemade rolls little puffs of steam spurting from them when they were torn into with two thumbs., a hint of sweetness if you held the soft dough near the tip of your tongue. The kitchen is home.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“I love the sound of fresh baked bread.” Norm paused from pulling meat for beast of the day.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“What? The sound? Don’t you mean the smell?”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“No, the sound. You can tell when bread is the highest quality, has been made nearly to perfection when you can hear that crust pop as soon as it hits room temperature after its pulled from the oven, here, ill show you right now actually.” Norm places his knife beside the cutting board and I already know where to follow him to the back line.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“Right behind.” Noodles and Bam Bam pivot slightly as I shift between them. Norm is waiting by one of the large ovens where I can feel the waves of heat seeping out the edges. He opens the door and grasps the large sheet tray with a rag, putting his face close to the steaming loaves.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“C’mere you’re going to miss it!” I shuffle over to the oven and put my face close, oven heat flushing my face peachy red and I can here it like rice krispees in cold milk, that little crackle. We don’t need to say anything. I just smile.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-67338183654455357662010-03-21T14:49:00.002-04:002010-03-21T15:00:12.043-04:00Kitchen Sounds<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/S6ZslILVcDI/AAAAAAAAAJU/aPzU0JowbiY/s1600-h/DSCN2579.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/S6ZslILVcDI/AAAAAAAAAJU/aPzU0JowbiY/s320/DSCN2579.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451163784084549682" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latinfont-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latinfont-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro! I've been worrying about you..how's the foot?</span></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:05pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">a lot better, thanks</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:05pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Good I'm glad</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:05pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">heard you weren't too hot, how've you been?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:05pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">sick</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">fever</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:05pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">...feeling too hot</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">that sucks</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">feeling better though?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:06pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Today was the first day I've actually left my apartment since Monday</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">but Frank sent me home and told me to take another night off</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">yeah just trying to get my energy and my voice back haha</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:06pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">yeah I hear ya. I've been on the couch and Vicodin out all week, not fun</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:07pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Cabin fever is about to set in..I don't mind being lazy but dude..I can't spend another day inside</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:07pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I hear ya, no I hate being lazy</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:07pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">How did you burn yourself??? God you poor thing </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:08pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Doing short ribs, the liquid fell n foot, ill tell at work there’s a lot to it</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">but I've doing a lot work in the comp, I'm doing the entire recipe book for roast, so that’s where I'm at right now</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:08pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It went through your shoe?! That is insane</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:08pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">yep</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:09pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">nice! I want a copy </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:09pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">could’ve been a lot worse if it wasn’t for the shoe</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:09pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I can’t even imagine..I'm glad your ok..It’s going to heal and everything? no serious permanent damage?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:10pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">nope</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">its healing it just burn like these take their time u know</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">but hopefully ill be back next week</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">anyways... im gonna let you go got finish this recipe book, still got like 80 more recipes to type for Monday.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:11pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">ok get better soon dear and you know if you need anything im your girl </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:11pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599050906"><b><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">be well, and take your vitamins, hope u feel better too</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">thanx</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">5:11pm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Halle</span></span></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">will do Pedro see you soon</span></span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Halle do you dress up just for us kitchen guys?” I like that EJ talks to me more, even if I’m unsure whether he is criticizing me or just giving me a hard time.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Always.” I wink.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Hey, uh, Halle, your shirt is falling off your shoulder there…”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“It’s supposed to, Forest.”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Just trying to help.”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Yeah, yeah, you just wanted an excuse to touch my shoulder.”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“You’re right…here let me help you…”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Hey kid how you feeling’?”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Better than I was.” But the words barely make it out through strained, scratchy vocal chords. Travis’s face folds into an awe-you-poor-thing-you-lost-your-voice look. “It’s all your fault.” I mouth, pointing at him with my fork, now stabbed with a ripe grape tomato. Travis holds his hands up in defense.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Dude we didn’t make out that much, totally not my fault.” I smirk and slide the envelope I have for him down to where he is slouched against the granite bar. The turquoise envelope glides easily over to him resting at his fingertips.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Happy Birthday.” Manages to squeeze out of my voice box in little gasps. I shrug and finish, “I had to,” before he can say anything. But he doesn’t just holds that smile there, the one I think he keeps secretly for me tucked into the pocket of his hoodie. </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Halle, I don’t want to hear a word out of you today…not one.” Andy can’t fool me, trying to press his face into seriousness but cracking a smile only half a second after he finishes the sentence. The feverish haze has just barely left me and stolen my voice along with it, but not one more day in my apartment, pajamas, soup and movies could keep me from that kitchen. I missed them after a week and it felt heavenly to be back, even if they were busting my balls…so to speak…</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Oh hush up!” My voice came out in barely a squeaky whisper instead of the yell I intended.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“What? I’m sorry I cant hear you…what did you say?” Andy holds his hand behind the crook of his ear. “You’re going to have to be louder than that if you want to get out attention.” I slap him with the yellow polishing cloth and go back to helping the boys set up for service.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Seriously, Hal, we missed you...how are you feeling?” I flash a thumbs up sign.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Good. Stay fucking healthy!”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I can feel my phone vibrate in my apron pocket. Texting is forbidden in the kitchen but I discretely hit the buttons in the darkness of the fabric and scan the screen quickly before Andy catches me. It’s Nolan.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Hey lady! I heard you were quite sick. Are you ok?!”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Seriously thanks for everything you do…sometimes I wonder what we did before you got here…and don’t ever think I’m yelling at you…you’re the last person I would yell at.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">They sneak little bites and nibbles, and sometimes I wonder what they would taste like if I were to touch my mouth to theirs,</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He seemed genuinely hurt...his soft, handsome features folding into an expression of dismay and concern. My chest constricts and suddenly I wish I could take back all of the negative feelings I ever had about him. Because, in reality, my jealousy is what drives me. I want what he has. I let him down..that is my fear..what drives my intimidation now...I so badly want us not just to work together but to be friends..and my guilt is driving me mad..smells like stale grease and salt left over from a packed house.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I let him down..I couldn't live up to the task of becoming a full-fledged server in under a month and cost the restaurant, and himself...he told me months ago..</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">"Through this process I will be nit picking through everything you do, I will be watching every move not because I’m looking for things you are doing wrong but because I want you to be the best you can be, I want all of the things I teach you to become automatic. I’ll tell you a story. When I first started working as a waiter I had a pretty big head. I hated that someone was constantly coming up to me telling me every little thing I was doing wrong. At first I blew it off because I was young. So there was just one day where I decided I wanted to be the best, and that meant fixing a tweaking all of those little things, even if they seemed unimportant.”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And from the beginning all I ever wanted was for him to be proud of me...to see how much I respect him and want to learn from him..and now I feel like a disappointment...hovering in his shadow...pulse quickening every time he comes around a corner.*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But I like him most when he makes me laugh...I like him when he reminds me of...me...</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Georgia;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Yoga has made my body writhe and burn in places I have forgotten existed. The plates make my wrists throb and I can’t help but bitch about it because it makes me feel better.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Yeah, girl had a hard night…a longggg night.” Dan’s voice drips in sarcasm. I pause and eye him over the expo station.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Yeah and you just wish it was you.” I retort.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “OHHHHHHHH BURN! SHE GOT YOU!” I smile smugly.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> *</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Beautiful and refined with a touch of madness</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Wait wait you’re leaving too?</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">No Sean</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Where are you going?!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Nowhere! </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Oh ok oh god don’t scare me like that. Who would make my fry cups? Because no one else makes a mean fry cup like you.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">They come and go, new faces replace old, the ghosts of past line cooks continue to linger. Sometimes I swear I can hear Brian yell some vulgarity that makes me laugh despite it; sometimes I swear I see Jeff disappear around the corner. And now Dan is leaving and I am afraid of forgetting about him. Part of me wishes I could. The other part wants to cry.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “ Yeah dude I am stoked. Ill be around the tip of Idaho at this sweet resort, working under a buddy of mine I graduate with from the CIA.” I make a little extra noise retrieving pig shaped plates for him, slamming them onto the metal station where he places finished dishes during service.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “We don’t talk about you leaving while I’m in the kitchen. We just don’t.” My voice carried further than I would have liked as the kitchen becomes silent at the wrong time. The boys hear.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Awwwwwwwww!!!!” They all echo in unison. Dan turns red and smiles. I bolt.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Chris is leaving too, accepted a job position as an engineer for some small company. It is only when someone leaves when you realize how much their company, and presence, means to you. A little glowing ball of light in the palm of your hand. We all see different sides of each other here and most have never seen the side of him that I have. Deceptively witty and cheeky, an indi film humor. </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “It might be my favorite food of all time,” he says calmly, as a matter of fact without looking at me. Just nods his head slowly as if agreeing with himself. “But I really want to get Invisiline so those little shreds of meat don’t get suck in the spaces between my teeth. Especially this one place in my back molars.” He taps two fingers to his jaw line. “Then I could really enjoy jerky to its fullest potential.” Laura and I pause to gather each other’s reactions then break out in wide smiles.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Fucking adorable, this one.” I ruffle his hair.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Metal against metal clashes and cracks against the atmosphere of the kitchen as Kenny pours a giant plastic tub of silverware into the polishing bin. It seems with sanitation like a plate of food fresh off the burners. I cringe.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Fuck that sound is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I am going to wake up in the middle of the night screaming because of nightmares about bins of steaming silverware.” I shift my attention from the prongs of the fork I am polishing and look at Chris.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Good god now I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.” A hand jolts me and shakes me violently. I know its Greg without even turning around.</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Babe, polish the silverware, don’t make love to it!.”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Dude, I don’t make love…”</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-86452561866590580582010-02-26T13:50:00.002-05:002010-02-26T13:58:27.690-05:00Disclaimer...Claiming IdenityI suppose there is no "right" time for and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">explanation</span> of an artists work. And so I mentioned oh-so long ago, I hate <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">explanations</span>. But we all have bad days, we all have good days. Simple as that. The truth is the things I write here are through my eyes and no one <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">else's</span>. And though my experiences are completely <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">transformative</span> depending on who reads them, this much I know is true. I would not choose to be anywhere else in life. The people I'm surrounded by every day have changed me for the better. They are the most talented, eccentric, beautiful, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">hilarious</span>, bold, brash, charming, raunchy group I have the honor of working with. And I love them. They have all become <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">pieces</span> of my soul, have breathed life into me, have saved me. I owe them everything. This is life. This is real. This is how I see it through my window.All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-79023514205453916062010-01-06T20:14:00.002-05:002010-01-06T20:25:06.111-05:00"My Boys"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/S0U3yjwntQI/AAAAAAAAAI8/GsPAd08Vgoo/s1600-h/3456006121_8559aa2464.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/S0U3yjwntQI/AAAAAAAAAI8/GsPAd08Vgoo/s320/3456006121_8559aa2464.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423802667969787138" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Calibri, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Those ChefsWear pants bug the shit out of me. I want to strut to the back of the line, pull them up so only ¼ of his ass is showing instead of ½, and tie his black apron there so tight those pants don’t creep downwards again. This is a kitchen, not an MTV rap video. Plus, I like to think that ass is a little bit, well, mine, especially if I’ve seen more of it than most of these people.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Calibri, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Halle, stop staring at my ass. I mean, I know it’s nice but, c’mon, a little digression.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Calibri, serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“You wish I was looking at your ass!” I yell over to him, whipping around to focus on buffing silverware again. But I know I’ll be sneaking glimpses of those hips jutting just above the checkered waist for the rest of service. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Greg strides into the kitchen and leans against the counter, next to me. His brow furrows.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">"Halle, don’t make love to it, polish it!” The yellow rag becomes warm from friction under my quick fingers</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Dude, I don’t make love. I’m passionate and aggressive.” He cracks up. I love the way his eyes crinkle. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“You’re silly, boo.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“I love that you and Laura call me boo. It makes me feel special.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Well-,” he pauses and looks at me with those white blue eyes, “you are special.”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">In all circumstances, insert raunchiness. </span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“You know my motto, here it’s standard conversation, everywhere else it’s sexual harassment! And you know the saying ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?’ That doesn’t apply in this case…ever.” Norm retrieves the oval plate that flaunts 3 glistening; plumb kielbasas nestled atop steaming violet cabbage. </span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Aw, look! A cute little nub on top!”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“And it’s oozing too!”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Yeah, small and oozing kind of like something else I know.”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Oh yeah and how would you know that? Have you seen it?”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“God, I hope not.”</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Hey Halle, can you keep an eye on things while I do some prep work in the back?</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Dude, you know you don’t ever have to ask.” Andy smiles the way an old friend does when nothing has to be spoken between you. I like to think we are heading in that direction. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Uh oh! Watch out! Halle is behind the line!”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“You know it so don’t fuck it up boys.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“That’s right, Hal, keep them on their toes girl!”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Laura is patient and beautifully serene, like aloe on skin; someone I feel as if I can tell all of my secrets to, even if they are small an insignificant or embarrassing. She would smile every time and make me feel like its ok to be me. I told her a few nights ago about my infatuation with “my boys.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“They kill me,” I say over the rim of a Bordeaux glass, as if its circumference will conceal my words from the kitchen line. I don’t want those boys to know how I feel, my admiration seeping through my pores. “But it has to be the right combination of them. I love all of them, I really do.” They may give me shit but I thrive on it, nourishment for my exoskeleton that has taken 23 years for me to grow, only to be shed and restructured again.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">That little tattered notebook lays on his bureau opened to the last few pages, running ink and dog eared, next to a foggy decanter that he snuck from the kitchen before it was able to be washed and polished. His room was cold on my naked skin as I searched for discarded garments. Now he makes lists on that notebook, and my skin is warm and dewy from the kitchen. I catch his eye and he looks away, busying himself with lists and I busy myself with polishing. His hands will work on me later.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“God, you guys are all going to kill me when I publish my book.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Well I’ll make myself a bit more interesting.” Mischievousness sprinkles the air. “Run this fucking food! I’m surprised that my reaction is to laugh, but perhaps it is because I know him now, that he can be stern but never harsh and stinging.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">My legs ache from pattering around like a bumper car from one side the restaurant to the other and my mood has steadily sputtered into something a little less than pleasant. Joseph has already caught me shoveling a bowl of lentils into my mouth between platings and courses.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Food running comes before eating, Halle.” He can’t even look up from his iPhone to address me.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Halle, get back on your side of the line,” Andy snaps as he attempts to figure out which food goes to what table along with the appropriate seat. I find myself wishing I could tell him I’ve looked at those tickets more than he has tonight and could get the food out before it becomes mush. The cuts on my knuckles burn and tingle. Frustration makes the little severs throb in annoyance as if to scold me for fracturing too many glasses this week into shards sharp enough to slice through the tension pent up in the restaurant tonight. The plastic racks that hold freshly washed and steaming glassware have piled up as fast as I’ve emptied them and now they tower over me; red, blue, green, brown, like giant legos. Oscar asks me in his sweet broken English for another glass rack, light blue for wine glasses, so I empty one, hastily swiping the soggy cloth over the circumference of the bowl, stem and base in one swift movement, before I carry the rack back to the dishwashers station. I suppose, in hindsight, I knew the metal shelf where the racks sat above my head were filled with a soup of leftover food, soapy water and various forgotten beverages. Oscar only had certain moments between rushes to rinse the station clean of dishwater soup. But I wasn’t thinking about that festering liquid. My crankiness escaped through my fingers as I slammed the empty rack onto the shelf above my head. What I was not ready for was the backlash of that concoction into my face, mouth, and hair leaving me dripping with a foulness I could only taste on my taste buds, some of which I am sure were burnt off after the fact.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Everyone stopped in hesitation of what to do or say while I stood there, bangs dripping. Oscar halted amidst the dirty dishes, spray faucet still sputtering water onto the metal surface. Brian and Steve both snorted, knives in mid chop. Some “oh gods” and “uh ohs” floated around. But Frank’s response was the best.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Well you’ve officially been christened with the dish tank money shot! You poor thing.” Andy tossed me a rag and I swiped at my face, giggling into the silliness that I embodied at that moment, a drown mouse, a damp bunny. I laughed and they laughed with me.</span></span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-85077890782963455382009-12-26T22:22:00.002-05:002009-12-26T22:32:10.042-05:00"The Dish Ran Away with the Spoon"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SzbVBhk5-jI/AAAAAAAAAIs/z_XTrFlVGnE/s1600-h/2830741713_3cb41db796.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SzbVBhk5-jI/AAAAAAAAAIs/z_XTrFlVGnE/s320/2830741713_3cb41db796.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419753423756720690" /></a><div><br /></div><div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SzbVBhk5-jI/AAAAAAAAAIs/z_XTrFlVGnE/s1600-h/2830741713_3cb41db796.jpg"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Jesus enough salad there, Halle?”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Not nearly enough. Hush, I like salad and this is not some shit store bought salad. You boys made it. So I will take as much fucking salad I want, cool?”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Woah, feisty girl!” Brian turns to face the rest of the boys and puts his arms in front of his face as if to shield himself for protection. “Watch out guys, don’t get in the way of the girl and the salad tray! She may beat you with the tongs.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“I like saaaalllaaddd” Mike, Brian and Jeff twitter in high pitched, fake feminine squeals.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Ok. A. I don’t sound like that-“ Mike cuts me off.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Oh, so you want to sound like a dude then?”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“No smartass. And B. Yes, I like salad so all of you can go fuck yourselves.” I stick my index finger in the dressing, lick it off and strut out of the kitchen with hoots and applause on my heels. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">E-meal gives me a break from the teasing, which I know, or hope, at least, is out of brotherly love, or something like it.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"></span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“So can we do a ribeye without the garlic and shallot confit? This lady wants it done up like our filet, olive oil sea salt. “ Andy eyes me over the expo station with a “did-she-really-just-fucking-ask-me-that” look. He gives her a hasty “yeah” and turns his back to me, tossing handfuls of chopped carrots and celery into a giant cast-iron pot that I could probably climb into. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Really? Did she really just ask me that?” Andy says as he turns back toward where I’m leaning against the espresso machine. “There are questions you just don’t ask. You know why?” I don’t try to respond. “Because it’s fucking common sense. Take notes, Halle. Don’t turn into one of these idiots.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“It’s the same thing I say about men. I’ll be the best damn girlfriend, or in this case, server, because I know all the secrets.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Right on, girl, right on. “ He holds his hand near the large heat lamps, palm facing me. I go in for the kill and slap it vigorously. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Milo, darling, do you have a Sharpie I can borrow?” He’s the sweetheart of all of them. Before he can answer I spot the red marker near his cutting board and snatch it up, telling him thank you before I grab the tape as well to label E-meal for the dishwashers. “Thanks doll!” I say.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Damn, this girl just takes what she wants! Always take never giving.” Milo shakes his head and I play along.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Oh, you have no idea. I love to give. I’m a giver of all things. You want something, all you have to do is ask babe. I aim to please.” The last few words I let linger as I exit through the swinging doors.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “I bet you do,” Mike chimes in as I enter through the doors, bringing back Milo’s ginger ale</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Hmm. I don’t recall you being a part of this conversation. Plus, you’re unavailable, so, not much I can do to help you out there.” The boys hoot and applaud as I wipe water from my hands onto my black apron.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“I like it when Halle works. She takes care of me, puts the plates and liners, and knows where everything is going. It’s perfect!” Norm plops a “Mickey Mouse” plate with steaming, oozing mac and cheese covered in garlic breadcrumbs onto the square plate I pulled for him.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Just trying to make your job easier, love.” Norm is about to tell me where the plates of food are going but I stop him placing my two index fingers on my temples, scrunching my eyes dramatically. “Wait, wait, wait. Don’t tell me…B7.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Damn, girl got skill!”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Nah, just psychic.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I wonder why they are all here. How much they know. Where their interests lie. Random culinary facts are tossed in with quotes from movies or TV shows. Sometimes they baffle me and other times they steal my breath with their smoke, their vulnerability and intelligence. But most importantly, they make me laugh.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It took awhile for me to realize just how close our faces were on the expo line. I’ve memorized every crease of Andy’s face, the scar that runs a crossed the bridge of his nose, only slightly off color so you can see a faint shadow of where the stitching together of skin was. His large weathered features give him the appearance of some sculpture in an overgrown garden, secreting subliminal sexiness with the sweat on his brow.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">James brings warmth to me that can de-thaw even my most melancholy of moods. I wish I could just take a spoonful for him every morning. His voice reminds me of olive oil and brown sugar, supple, deep and rich. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to fall asleep next to him outside, next to an open fire, his tall, lanky stature, limbs wrapped around me like twisted sheets. He is playful, makes me laugh in subtle ways. Even after I leave work I can feel his fingertips on my bent elbow.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Sometimes I sprinkle chive on whipped potatoes, plate them, serve them up: Selling 6-4! I yell. My voice carries now. The boys like it when I’m loud.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I arrange hors d'vours in lines of 3, pop the left over’s into my mouth.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I make lists to restock the bar, the pantry, the walk in refrigerator, on blank order sheets, save them, make art out of them when I come home.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I squeeze oranges; cut lime and lemons into thirds the way Travis has taught me. I stuff olives until they are pregnant with blue cheese or anchovies. And the men I work with love my scent, even if it is a mix of salt, oil and brine of the earth. They pine for it.</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“That’s my girl,” they say</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Who loves you?!” I say back. And I do.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> Even if they aren’t sincere, I like to pretend they are.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Halle, give me your shpeel about this hors d’vours.” I blush every time Andy puts me on the spot. He is good at catching me off-guard, knows my weaknesses. I clear my throat and feel the boys looking at me over their knife skills.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Uh, ok so…this is an herb goat cheese with roasted red bell pepper on top, served on a mini crostini, perfect little combination of crunch and cream.” I point to the next platter. “And this is a braised short rib wonton with a little Sriracha dotted on top for a kick to your taste buds.” Now I’m on a roll. The kitchen doesn’t speak. “And this is a little smoked salmon with a touch of crème fraiche and pickles onion.” Now I dare to look at Andy. He breaks into a smile the way he does. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Halle Murcek, gentlemen.” The boys whoop it up and I blush. Hard.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment--> </div>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-65718551212007035902009-12-02T18:31:00.003-05:002009-12-02T18:38:30.186-05:00Fire<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sxb6QvD5mBI/AAAAAAAAAIY/pIT0gjtFo-c/s1600-h/113809133_4b228dfb75.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sxb6QvD5mBI/AAAAAAAAAIY/pIT0gjtFo-c/s320/113809133_4b228dfb75.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5410787167749904402" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Oven roasted <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Poptart</span>. We should add that to the new menu.” E.J. places the dry, square pastry onto the hotplate, normally used for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">filets</span> or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ribeyes</span>, and slides it into the open brick oven. The frosting that resembled kindergarten craft past begins to glister and soften. The smell of roasting strawberries drifts into my nostrils.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Yeah but would it be a regular menu item, a bar menu item or dessert?” I wonder half aloud. E.J. gives me his typical what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about look. He <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">doesn</span>’t like me. I’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ve</span> learned not to take it personally.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The little shelves are occupied by bags of trail mix from random health food stores, sandwiches wrapped in butcher paper, plastic water bottles, cardboard boxes of tea with depictions enchanting faraway lands and disposable Tupperware filled with mysteries brought from home, rustic and wanting to be shared.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Greg grabs a fork from my hand that I just finished polishing with the yellow cloth. He holds it up to the light to inspect it for watermarks or other prints, the light glinting of the prongs of the utensil then brings it centimeters from his nose dramatically but I laugh because I know he’s teasing. He points it at me.</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“You are lucky, miss, that this fork is so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">pristinely</span> polished otherwise I would not let it come close to touching this culinary masterpiece I’m about to consume.” He whips out a container of what looks like mac and cheese.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Oh yeah? Is that some 4 star shit in there?” He leans against the counter next to me and pulls the lid off the container with exaggerated movements. Plunging his for into the Velveeta mac and cheese shell pasta, gooey with orange froth he places the fork into his mouth and cleans ever last bit of liquid from it.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Mmmmmmmm</span>…Velveeta with truffle oil.”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Greg, are you shitting me? Let me taste!”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">That was so like him.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Brad approaches me with his cautious but calm hesitation, a demeanor that saunters inside of my own body but never presents itself. I think that’s why I’m always a little bit brighter and warmer around him. He clutches the metal cup in his grip, a large tumbler pocked with scratches and dents. All of the chefs use them. I quench their thirsts when their cups run dry. </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Andy</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- water with a little ice and no straw, sometimes lemon</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Milo</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- ginger ale, lime wedges and four straws</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Forest-</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> Pepsi, sometimes soda water with a squeeze of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">lime juice</span> (I put an extra one on the side for him)</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Mike</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- Sprite</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Brad</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- diet Pepsi a little ice and three straws</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pedro</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">-ice water with lemon</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Norm</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- ice water plain no straws</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Brian</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- Pepsi no ice</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Drew</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- sprite one lime </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Sean</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- sprite no ice</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">David</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">- sprite ice and 2 straws </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">EJ</span></span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">-sprite and a few cubes</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ve</span> assumed my position at the polishing station surrounded by color-coded glass racks; my back is to the kitchen. The aura of a chef coat clad body approaches from behind me, a sensation like electric static on the backs of my arms.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Brad clutches the cup between his bulky palms the same way I’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ve</span> seen him handle slabs of meat. His <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">filets</span> were flawless tonight, looking as if they were made from some fine material instead of muscle of an animal. Perspiring and seeping juice only slightly to give it an engorged plumpness to the cuts, sliced in such a way that the pieces appear cut by a laser and not by his swift hand. Though I don’t eat red meat the sight of it was enough to make me sweat a little.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He gazes at me sheepishly; enough to make me blush and question if that flush is from him or the heat of the kitchen. </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Halle</span>?” His eyes never leave my face. He can be shy but that’s what I like about him. He never averts his gaze. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Yes dear?” My lips can’t resist the smile he brings on. Never. Fails.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Could I bother you for a diet Pepsi?” The briefest hint of his own personal smile barely escapes onto his mouth. I like that this is has become a ritual every time we work the same shift. Down to a time frame, first 5 minutes before we open then again a little over halfway through the shift. I can predict it and always make sure I’m in the kitchen then, so I don’t miss it, so he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">doesn</span>’t pass off the task to someone else. But part of me likes to think he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">wouldn</span>’t ask anyone but me anyway. “If you’re not busy,” he will add. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “I’m never too busy for you sweetheart and you know you never bother me. Of course I will.” He makes my cheeks hurt from grinning so hard.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Travis gives me the kind of looks that leaves a woman perplexed but feverish and blushing.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “There she is.” His voice is a dash gall blended with a hint of confidence and intimacy. I can nearly taste it in the air when we talk. Olive oil and brown sugar, I think, addicted to his Portland accent, a note of something unfamiliar but just there enough to notice west coast sass. He intrigues me endlessly with his decision to move far away from there to a city that is gasping from breath. He told me over a glass of wine he poured for me during after hours, red he guessed and I told him he knew me too well already. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Why does any guy do something drastic?” </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Not fair,” I point at him over the rim of the glass, “</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">asked </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">you</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Well consider this a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">switcheroo</span>.” He raises an eyebrow, one of his mannerisms I can’t get enough of.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“A girl”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Bingo” He swipes at the counter with a rag. “Six years and counting.”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He told me after another glass that I should never compensate or settle, that I had more going for me than most. Somehow after knowing him only a week, I believed this more from him than I had from my best friend or my parents. I still do.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Trav</span>, it’s usually the girl that does shit like that.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Yeah well I’m not most asshole guys. I mean don’t get me wrong I can be an asshole but not 98% of the time, ya know?”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Somehow I knew that 5 days ago.”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I held on fast after that. And two months later, between stuffing blue cheese into pitted olives and squeezing every last drip out of oranges he said, “Hey you know you make this place more <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">bearable</span>.” I barley caught the sentence as he paced from one end of the bar to the other, setting up for service, grabbing black cocktail napkins and menus. He does that; slips in discrete compliments, maybe hoping you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">aren</span>’t paying attention. I just smile when he does that, knowing he’s looking at me even if I’m not looking at him. He’s like a brother now, shoulder punching and flicking my wrist or elbowing me in the ribs. Somehow I think he would stick up for me if need be. I’d do the same and then some for him. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-77903361260854603922009-11-11T19:07:00.002-05:002009-11-11T19:16:20.586-05:00Leftovers<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SvtTuMabCyI/AAAAAAAAAH4/4JGKpeQy6Fk/s1600-h/2545835272_4771bf5793.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SvtTuMabCyI/AAAAAAAAAH4/4JGKpeQy6Fk/s320/2545835272_4771bf5793.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403004231032179490" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Wooden shelves hold a few water glasses filled with half melted ice cubes and water, soda or iced tea.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Two porcelain mugs of coffee sit unsteaming and neglected.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">A teabag hangs from the third and I assume it’s Carrie’s, Lemon Nestea.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Beyond the swinging stainless steel doors is a dining room full of patrons in a dull murmur of conversation and clinking of china and silver wear.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">We gather around the little nook by the dishwasher station, left over’s and extras placed there, gathering sopping up broth with crostinis and letting the liquid drip down our chins, reveling in the food we normally wouldn’t be allowed to eat.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Little bowls with puddles of creamy broth, four or five muscles held there gently like a hand palming something delicate.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Two thickly sliced, crispy crostini finish the little wonder.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">We anticipate leftovers so we can gather around each other to hold a cupped hand under our chins to catch crumbs or drips of sauce, smiling while we chew, brief notes of satisfaction and hums of satiation.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> * </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Yeah, this is what I call the smoked salmon crostini club sandwich,” Norm stacks five of the finger food into a mini sandwich, pinches it tight between two fingers and places it into his open mouth.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Want some?</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">They are left over.”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">The sentence I've been waiting for since I started catering the wedding party.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">The little nibbles of crostini teased me as I helped Andy assemble them on the white platter.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">* </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Andy, what do you want to save?</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">He peers into the various troughs of staff meal.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Eh, keep…keep…keep...garbage.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Now I retrieve plastic bins dump left over’s into them like feed for farm animals.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I swipe damp, dirty rags over splotches of sauce or spilled salad dressing.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I stack plates, line B and B’s with black napkins or square share plates with folded, crisp linens.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">My hands are soggy and wrinkled from damp polishing clothes.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I burnish silver wear I put on a smile.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I’m humiliated.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I’d rather have their acceptance.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">They make me laugh, face aching from smiling so much.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Slow night, only a smattering of hanging tickets and the boys are cracking jokes, quoting movies and comedians, giving each other a hard time.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">The atmosphere soft and malleable under our breathy chortles.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Sometimes they make me forget I was almost fired.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Now back to basic blacks I offer up whatever I can to prove this is what I want, that I can be a waitress, a damn good one, that I can develop that pigs hide skin and not let tears escape from bad nights.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Hey Halle, you wanna pick parsley for these guys?”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“YES!”</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Everyone stops and looks at me like I’m crazy for accepting the task.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">“Wow, that’s the enthusiasm I want to see from all of you!”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Andy turns to face the line.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">The boys laugh.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">It’s my secret that I want to be back there with them.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I feel sexy in my black t-shirt and chucks.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-76263631302757574252009-11-02T14:54:00.001-05:002009-11-02T14:55:29.198-05:00Resting 1-2<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I've decided to take a brief break from this blog to work on my other one...which you should all check out..if you so please.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Lo</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">vE</span></div>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-75233589203465576242009-10-20T18:01:00.003-04:002009-10-20T18:21:14.245-04:00When Pigs Fly<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/St43miTTLVI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/7JD0RY-pAk4/s1600-h/3517004138_c3616be164.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 203px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/St43miTTLVI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/7JD0RY-pAk4/s320/3517004138_c3616be164.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394810538818743634" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My body pulses in time with my heart as soon as I lay in the shadows of my room, covering my like a heavy blanket.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Most nights now I am too exhausted to even fold down the comforter or sweep the mound of pillows off the bed with my arm.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I know I need a thicker skin, a skin that is nearly impenetrable.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Skin like hide, tough and sustainable to lashes and beatings.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pig, horse, cow, animals of the farm, poked and prodded, whipped to be controlled.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Wikipedia </span></span></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pig (also know as Swine)</span></span></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Despite its reputation for gluttony the swine is actually a social and intelligent animal.”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">His hands are rough but warm, like a leather interior of a car sitting in the sun.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I have one resting in my palm, our wrists touching pulse points.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Maybe it was just an excuse to touch him, or maybe I wanted to see what the hands of someone who used them so often felt like.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The muscles resting just below that slight layer of skin are taught like rubber bands, little nodules hidden, wedged between the striations, I could imagine.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I worked the pad of my thumb into the circumference of his hand and tried not to explore the pattern of scares and cuts there.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Jesus, Dan you have some serious calluses going on there,” running my thumb over the hardened patch of skin just below his ring and pinky fingers.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Yeah man I know.”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I half expected him to pull his hand away but he let me keep hold. </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Dave, you get your knife callus yet?”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Dan pulls his hand closer to his face to inspect his battle scars, my hand loses grip and his knuckles slip past my fingertips, raw and scathed from hours over flame and waves of heat from opening and closing oven doors.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Yeah?</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">So what’s your kryptonite?”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He cocks his head to the left for a minute, as if he’s listening for the answer from the next room or some unknown presence.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Hmm…damn, I don’t really know man.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Oh come on, there has to be something.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">You aren’t a superstar as much as you may think you are.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Sassy much?” he looks at me briefly as if he’s thinking about smiling but doesn’t.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Yeah I guess terrines.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I hate that shit.”</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I want him to pick up the electric guitar that lies beside him like a sleeping lover.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The next day he will show me a photo on his phone, of the collection of guitars hanging on his wall.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He will ask if it looks familiar, in front of the whole kitchen staff and I will say yeah, your basement.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The guys will all snicker into their plates of curry and rice.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My father has a way with his hands.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">His large, deceivingly nimble fingers, the way his surgeons grip handles tools.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Dan’s hands tinker and sashay the way they do on his guitar.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised but the array of electric guitars on his wall makes the muscles in my legs tighten and twitch.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Filet m/ wp/ mush/oysters</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Tomato sal/ lob.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Chop sal no onion</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Four Sisters</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I envy Ashley who can make notes in her head where I take pen to paper.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></span></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Brad, are your ears burning?”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The polishing rag makes my hands soggy.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Huh?</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I know somethin's burning.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Look at all this smoke!”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The apple wood charcoal and wood chips smolder beneath the grate of the grill where the slabs of meat sit smoking and cooking with scents of pork and cow juices seeping upward in curls of haze.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The kitchen has a cloudy aura to it.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Brad we were talking about you.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Yeah what about?"</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“I was saying how my new tattoo is going to be your name on my shoulder because you a meat grilling god machine.”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He laughs and uses his wrist to scratches at his red smattering of whiskers.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The color of his hair seems to match the tint of the meat the butchers.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Blade</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Brisket</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Chuck</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Fillet</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Flank</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Fore rib</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Leg</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Neck</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Rump</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Shank</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Shin</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Silverside</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Sirloin</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Thick rib</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Thin rib</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Topside</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It’s the ABC’s of meat, of the slaughter, of the grilling and chewing and savoring.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“I’m serious.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">You cook meat perfectly, flawlessly with a consistency I’ve never seen before and that I probably won’t ever see again.”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Brad hacks into a piece of porterhouse and smiles, hold his gaze and pauses to not and say thank you.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I know he is sincere; his nod is brief but consoling.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He is humble.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The bones of the short rib protrudes in bowed ivory like a rainbow, marbled layer upon layer of meat red like Brad’s his cheeks and nose.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">When I watch him hack into that thick hunk of pork I wonder what its like, using your own body against the grain of another animal’s.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Lacerating the layers of muscle, fat, tendons, the blade of the cleaver slashing through easily in some places, others getting stuck at a stubborn piece of tendon sweat gathering on your brow from the blows.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“Dan…what part of her would you eat?”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The lower half of my body is wrapped in a wrinkled comforter.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Dan places one hand on my ankle and the other on my thigh just above my knee.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“All of this dude, all of this.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The shank, most muscular part, most flavor.”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Dave nods in agreement and I’m blushing</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">His fingers maneuvered my own over the bass guitar’s strings earlier.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He’s hard to read, hints flickering a crossed his face for milliseconds before flitting out.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I played three notes, he played times infinity, I kept the beat and his fingers plucked and fluttered over the neck and strings like I wish they would down my spine.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">His touch is quick and hesitant, as if he’s afraid to be burned if he even grazes any part of himself against me.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He plays with fire for a living but steers clear of all parts of me.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">They scrub down the kitchen, suds slopping over the stainless steel counters, the same color of my nails.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The floor is soaked, puddled in a faux orange zest scent, coating the tiled floor in bubbles.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I reach down to the pocket of my apron for a pen to close out my last tab but for the third night in a row they have somehow disappeared.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I started with 5 brand new Zebras and am now left with zero.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Travis pushes his way through the stainless steel doors and I notice 3 identical pens are tucked neatly into the front of pocket of his jeans.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But I don’t say anything.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The night hovers just above the brevity of mid afternoon.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">3-4 PM sits in its own fermentation, waiting for someone to add spice to it, or fleur de self, give it another layer of flavor and punch that only the evening can taste like.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I sliced a chunk out of the tip of my thumb.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It was Monday, I had no tables.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I sliced bread until the serrated edge like razors found my skin and mistook it for the raw crust of multigrain.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My blood came is increasing drips of red.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Dotting the white cutting board, crumbs pooling with the red itself.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I saw the flap of skin, the running of blood before the pain, just stared for a moment, aware of my body’s response to injury, the release of elements from inside of me, offered to the open air.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Then pain coming instantly, a heartbeat in my fingertip.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I am cold when I am not in the kitchen, goose bumps until the heat of a rush comes.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Part of me wonders if I let the knife slip, to give myself a wound, a remembrance of this place and time, a scar to catch a glimpse of when I’m writing of driving or perhaps in the wake of a morning that has left me aching and worn.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I’ll look at that scar, put it to my teeth and pause there to bite the discolored, hatched skin</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">His calluses are like scars, pieces of warped skin from where the handle of the knife slipped and rubbed incessantly during each maneuver.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Hours of rapid fire mincing, his muscles tensing into steel like contractions, Japanese steel, the kind his knife is whittled from.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He opens the knife case, unrolls it like a carpet, his tools placed discretely in proper holsters, different gradations like an amp or seismograph.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He removes each one, runs his thumb slowly a crossed the blade to the tip and when I watch him sharpen the steel I wonder about the day he bought those knives.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Maybe he wandered up and down the isles, shelves and such glistening with Japanese steel, angels and points in perfect lines and he’d test each one, running his thumb down the blade like I imagine he would over the line of my body or full bottom lip before he devours me.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The back of my throat burns from trying to hold in frustration through tears, I pray to some higher power that the dampness rapidly pooling in my eyes won’t spill over and stain my cheeks with black lines.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Movements and actions don’t connect; I’m reaching for silverware I don’t need and scrambling for the expo. screen which looks like a jumble of neon nonsense.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Laura steps up beside me to grab a marking plate.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I can feel her pause in her usual mechanical motions.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“What’s wrong, boo?”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Her gentle hand settles onto my wrist, halting the jerky movements brought on by the customer who just can’t be pleased.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">*</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Your hands are cracked around the edges, on the pads of your fingers, in white lines, like dusty strands of hair left in a corner.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Pink fingers with scathed patches of skin.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">You hate how they feel, thirsty for sweat or oil. Something to penetrate those dried up lines like tiny parched tributaries, skin that feels as if your outgrowing it, stretching over the frame of your body, you can nearly hear it creek when you clench your fists, wrap your fingers around large plates, rubbing and burnishing silverware until its luster is unhindered of fingerprints and watermarks.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It tightens until you can nearly feel it rip in the thinnest places, like at the place where your knuckles join and bend, you have expected to see exposed bone soon.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Water from kitchen faucets is deceptive.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">You flash your hands quickly there to rinse excess butter or foodstuff or ketchup and the temporary dampness reminds you of a burst of cool air on a humid, sticky afternoon.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But the relief vanishes.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Cambria;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Moments later, your hands even more chapped than before.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The heat from the large porcelain plates, the heat lamps at the runner station sip and suckles ever last drop of moisture from your palm to fingertips.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Yet passing by a window or glass floor you see your face, sheen with a mist of its own oil and sweat.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">You are perplexed, and rub your hands together, hoping they do not spark.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-31325938289047257792009-10-14T18:15:00.005-04:002009-10-14T18:31:00.626-04:002 Out 1-0! (2 weeks in October)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/StZOxErNoMI/AAAAAAAAAG8/N8NLfN7eIPE/s1600-h/SuperStock_1555R-23062.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/StZOxErNoMI/AAAAAAAAAG8/N8NLfN7eIPE/s320/SuperStock_1555R-23062.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392584208798294210" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Week 2 of my job and I’</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ve</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> fallen into a ritual and I miss parts of my training already. I would never admit to him that I enjoyed him drilling me about the stuffed peppers or boar rack. What ingredients came with which dish.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I write my life on order tabs. Imbibe the pace of the kitchen and all of its smells and smoke, inhale the spices, drink in the juices.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">*</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“That fucking pan roasted chicken breast.” Smoke escapes his lips as he exhales the answer in blue gray twines of breath. “Little bit of butter, chicken stock, tarragon…” He swells like a wave, his smile widening with his arms stretching over his head. “Fucking dank.” He kisses his thumb, index and middle finger in a short star burst motion. “Ugh so good!”</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">That sound he makes, that grunt of satisfaction like he knows what he creates is something of perfection.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I approach my tables with caution underscored by a blip of excited anticipation, an approach that says I’m there to take care of you, to accent your meal but not overpower it.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“Good evening! My name is </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and I’m going to be taking care of you this evening.” I smile but not too wide, show a glint of teeth and cross my hands folded behind my back. Eye contact is something to always work on, I </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">can't</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> focus on anyone’s face, find a focal point on a stripe of a gentleman’s tie or the single misplaced curl of a woman’s hot-</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">rollered</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> hair. Sometimes its easiest to flick my gaze out the picture window, catch a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">glimpse</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> of a passing hungry, stumbling man or ladies in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">heels</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and new pea coats. One of these days I’ll be able to lock eyes for a few moments with the patrons I begin a silent connection with for an hour or two before I never see them again. I try to imagine what it would be like to be on the other side, to have a waitress who can’t look you in the eye as she describes the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">spicy</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> tomato soup with a garnish of sweet cornbread, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">pancetta</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and blue cheese crumble. Would I wonder why her words are so elegant but her eyes say nothing because I cannot see them? Would it matter?</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But my name has, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">more so</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> than not, appeared on their palates between bites of salmon or tiny bites of marrow and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">crostini</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, infused in the oil left on their lips. Maybe that will get me to look.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Table 24 </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“Josh this is </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.” The middle aged man gestures his palm toward me as an </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">older</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, balder one slides awkwardly into the booth next to him. He shakes my hand.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “I see the rest of your company has joined you gentleman.” When I smile I can feel the corner of my eyes crinkle.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Table 32</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“See, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> knows what she’s talking about!” Her face does not move with one iota of expression. I wonder if all that B</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">otox</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> will let her be able to chew. Joan Crawford enters my mind. I bite my </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">tongue</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “The wine is divine love. Now. What shall we eat?” She holds the menu up for me to look at. I have it memorized.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “Well it depends on if you want meat, fish or something light? We do have soup and some fantastic salads. Or perhaps you’d rather just have a few appetizers? What do you think?” </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “I think you should sit down and eat with us, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Halle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">! You’</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ve</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> made everything sound just too delicious.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It’s murky, off-red and orange dark in the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">restaurant</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. The lights are low, the crowd has died down and the wind outside the window blows rain against the glass. The weakness in my knees travels up my thighs, pushing me slightly into the expo. station behind me. To my left are abandoned booths hidden behind the bar. Table 19 is reserved for after hours, Joseph and Mary’s dinners and designated memory maker in my own world.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> I’m on my own now, but a few weeks before I occupied that space, Joseph </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">a crossed</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> from me immersed in that same lava glow during a late night training session. Steaming plates of food before us, multiple glasses of red wine each holding only a slight pour of liquid. Hands on, palate like the nose of a dog, memorizing scents and flavors, the best way to understand the composition and the pairing, the philosophy was to let the palate discover and absorb all of it. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Those few minutes of tasting and talking, like the last drips of wine from a glass of </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">impeccable</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Bordeaux. I liked that he asked me about the food, what did I taste, how would I describe it? Looking into me instead of at me. Intimidation comes in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">severities</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and types like the wine I drank. First, it was the watchful, judging eye of someone who was young, successful and knowledgeable, who walked with an air about him the way I wish I could, a wisdom I wanted to drink in but was too afraid to uncork. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I felt as if he wanted to wipe me away like the fingerprints or </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">watermarks</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> on a wine glass.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I felt like an </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">impostor</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, or undeserving of his teaching because even the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">simplest</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> tasks I could not grasp onto with my fingers.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “Through this process I will be nit picking through everything you do, I will be watching every move not because I’m looking for things you are doing wrong but because I want you to be the best you can be, I want all of the things I teach you to become automatic.” His eyes seared into me. “I’ll tell you a story. When I first started working as a waiter I had a pretty big head. I hated that someone was constantly coming up to me telling me every little thing I was doing wrong. At first I blew it off because I was young and thought I was the shit.”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “Joseph, you are young”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “No, YOU’RE young”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “Anyway so there was just one day where I decided I wanted to be the best, and that meant fixing a tweaking all of those little things, even if they seemed unimportant.”</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Now my fingers burn and itch, my feet wont stand still because I want to, I will show him, just how extraordinary I am. Some day I want to be in his place, with someone acrossed from me at a perfectly set table, giving a speech all of my own, telling stories of how I’m slowly climbing rungs..</span></span><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-9184278883295358962009-10-01T11:42:00.004-04:002009-10-02T18:20:58.388-04:00Expo. Trois<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SsTQMiJBQ6I/AAAAAAAAAG0/ZstdiSuSyFo/s1600-h/KNS08V_002.jpeg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SsTQMiJBQ6I/AAAAAAAAAG0/ZstdiSuSyFo/s320/KNS08V_002.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387659967983600546" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Fragments..more to come..no questions</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">*</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">It was one of those unexpected nights, those nights where I was expecting to clock out of the expo.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">system, change out of my kitchen infused jeans, white button up, chucks and apron climb into my car parked in the $5 lot across the street and drive the 15 minutes at 80 MPH on the highway back to Royal Oak.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But tonight I’m pissed off and on an emotional high simultaneously.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">It’s not fair, I think, that while I’m ecstatic and happiest I’ve been in a while I’m also devastated and self-conscious.</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Oil</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Water</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">*</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Rituals have become part of me, of my gestures, bent twisted carved burned into my existence, that once one ritual is changed I quickly must acclimate myself to a new one.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">They sharpen their knives, spend time before us working long hours into their hands, chopping vegetables in prices shapes and configurations.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">*</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But my job isn’t easy either.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">F. asks how my night is going and I tell him the truth, I am tired and my feet hurt, and my eyes tell him I am tired, I have heavy heat and grease coating my brain today.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Swallowing back tears and frustration, depression that comes seeping out of healing wounds of my soul is infesting and infecting my deliverance to my customers, I can feel it and it exhausts me.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But he doesn’t get it.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Oh you’re feet hurt?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Oh you’re tired?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I am SO sorry about that.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">What about you Dan?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Do your feet hurt?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Nah man I’m golden.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">You?”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Perfect over here I feel GREAT.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Only seared my hands a few times tonight.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Only been on my feet since 6AM this morning.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">No way am I fucking tired.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I can’t help but feel like the brunt of some immature joke.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I was already told tonight by a woman near my age that I didn’t have the experience to be working in a restaurant of this caliber yet.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She was a customer, there with her boyfriend or pet on a leash, who demanded precise spacing between her courses so that the food before it didn’t “ruin the taste” of the next course.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She cut his filet.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She fed him wine.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She looked at me like I was some squished insect on the bottom of her red patent leather pump.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I smile.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I get her what she wants.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I space out the meal.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I feel like smearing her lipstick across her face with my blistered fingers from hot plates.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">* </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Sir…”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Beer?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Stella?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Bam Noir?”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Bam.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Hit me”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I’m situated behind the expo screen, the sound of clinking glasses and shuffling feet, after hours again and I’m the last server to leave for the 4</span></span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">th</span></span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> time this week.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I secretly love it.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">It goes with the whole theme of being one of the boys.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">A throwback.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Something comfortable and familiar like the shoes they wear, worn in clogs, scuffed and imprinted with infinite hours on foot from one burner to the next.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">It’s easier to be around people who love what you love, even more so when it isn’t women.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And its strange because in any other circumstance I would be nervous, forgetting sentences, stuttering, looking at my feet, wondering if I had enough lip-gloss or perfume on.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But here I am dressed androgynously, tie loose around my neck after I pull the knot while clocking out, white oxford sleeve rolled up to the elbow with fleck of various stains like pointillism on the cuffs, dark jeans and my black leather chucks.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">My face has a sheen like raw meat and the only makeup I wear is a swipe of mascara.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I smell of sweat, salt and apple wood smoke.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I am surrounded by men and have never been more confident.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Hey, did you call me?</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Oh yeah?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Is that what missed call means?</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Ok sassy pants I was brushing my teeth what’s up?</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> We</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> are at Loving Touch, what r U doin?</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">In my pajamas with my feet up writing</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">My phone illuminated in the darkened kitchen just beyond where Becca sleeps.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She wakes up at 5 AM for her job.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I don’t go in until 3.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Hang on my roomie is asleep” Muffled Van Halen plays ambient noise on the other end.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Dude you live like, 5 minutes from 9 mile.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">We just started a game.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Come hang."</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Well fuck.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I had a mild attraction to him but was let down easily a few days before.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I was trying to play it smooth, ignore him but not too much.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Answer his questions but only in mild conversations that he began.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And now he wants me to come play pool at 1 AM.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Reading into this?</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">You bet I am</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Alright alright give me 5 to clean up.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Dude we just got off work and we smell dank, who cares?”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“I do… I am a girl, you know.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“See you in five.”</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Click.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Dial Tone.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> *</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">The rug underneath me hugs the curves of my back.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“What’s your favorite thing to cook?”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">He inhales, ponders, his chest permanently risen filled with smoke and air then answers me, after a time, through slow exhales and whips of smoke</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Fuck…that pan roasted chicken.”</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">His face explodes into a giant grin.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">He sits up and open and closes his hands a few times.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Damn my hands are sore today from choppin' all that cilantro and parsley."</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">He bends back his fingers a few times.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Ew, Dan, stop that’s probably so bad for you.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Here give me your hand.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I don’t wait for him to stretch his arm out to me but instead guide his palm with my fingers toward me.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">*</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“So this lady at my table doesn’t eat meat.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She hates olive oil and butter and she wants mushrooms on a piece of bread.:</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Any looks at me with a blank, slightly annoyed stare.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Jesus.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">She came to a MEAT HOUSE.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">He scratches his head, retrieves a plate of perfectly grilled and sliced filet from brad at the grill station and wipes the excess olive oil and fingerprints from the plate.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Alright, tell her we can do steamed potatoes, crostini, some pickled onions and sautéed mushrooms if she gives us a little leeway on the olive oil.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Tell her its better for you than butter at that we wont use a lot.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Then come back here and talk to me.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Yes captain.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Punk”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“Thank you Andy!”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">*</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Ashley looks up at me from her 4”9 stature and throws a polished knife into the bin.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“People are assholes.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Sometimes I go home, look at myself in the mirror and say all of the things I want to say to my reflection that I couldn’t to the customers earlier.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">It’s therapeutic, really.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">*</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">He scared me.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Maybe because he is handsome in an awkward way or because he’s so damn good at his job and young enough to be my brother that, that kind of knowledge, passion and experience he secretes in subdued quantities.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">He is like a vintage wine, I bet, growing richer, deeper, more complex with age and his grapes were plucked, squeezed and bottled early on.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">There is a sheepish confidence to him that I almost wish I could claim for my own.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Yes, people think he is pretentious, a little arrogant, bigheaded, and true he may be all of those things but what he is, to me, is a genuinely good person.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">A friend, he has become to me.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Makes me smile in a way a girl smiles when everything has fallen into place.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">A smile that comes right before a collapse, a brief moment of euphoria.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">When I first started he left a taste like tannins in my mouth.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I hated how he seemed to treat me not like a child but a girl who couldn’t find her way around in the world, one who needed her hand held.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I wanted so badly to tell him that I probably had more knowledge about food than he did about wine and beer, I wanted to show everyone that but the fear snobbery held me back.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Not only did I have to suppress the knowledge that comes from passion but I had to do it in an atmosphere that fostered what I loved so much.</span></span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">* </span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">How to properly open and present a bottle of wine:</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">1.</span></span></span></i><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></i></span><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Show the bottle to your guests. Give the guest a chance to see the label of the bottle they will be drinking. In a restaurant, this has the added benefit of allowing the guest to verify that you will be opening the correct bottle. To present the bottle, support it on a linen napkin at a 45-degree angle with the label facing the guest and repeat vintage location and name. </span></span></span></i></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I try that much and walk up to the table where Joseph is sitting, hands placed in front of him, legs crossed.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I present the bottle and the black napkin slips out of my hand onto the floor.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">After retrieving it I regain my composure only to completely forget the information on the bottle.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Joseph smirks then looks at me seriously.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">“No worries keep going.”</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">My face is hot and I’m shaking</span></span></span></span></span></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">2. Wait for approval. As a restaurant server, always wait for the guest to give you the "go ahead" before you open the wine bottle.</span></span></span></i></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops: 11.0pt .5in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Joseph nods.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Approves of the wine, a red from Argentina, Dao it’s called.</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I remember the spice and tinge of pumpkin or other squash with a little cinnamon or allspice.</span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-59783732178536953382009-09-22T10:13:00.002-04:002009-09-22T10:39:02.409-04:00Paved with Salt:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SrjhV_7BjcI/AAAAAAAAAGs/33AK_j7ZkTU/s1600-h/salt2.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SrjhV_7BjcI/AAAAAAAAAGs/33AK_j7ZkTU/s320/salt2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384301122573929922" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">-Photo by me of me.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Foreward: This will come in unpredictable sections, stay tuned.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">***</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Driving into the city, Nora Jones on my iPod I wonder if it’s the smartest idea to purposefully put myself in a more melancholy mood than I’ve already been in all day.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It’s the weekend, Saturday, and Becca isn’t here but in the city that we would love to both call home someday, New York, and while I’m happy that she is there because she deserves it, I’m, selfishly, lonely and empty. I’m dwelling on how pathetic I feel for staying in last night, roasting brussels sprouts and sweet corn and portabellas for no one but myself. My apartment now will smell like balsamic for days unless I leave the patio door cracked. I drank half a bottle of Prisoner and fell asleep to The Wackness while the rest of the 20 somethings were probably out having a typical Friday evening…but I so wanted to be there too. Now I’m feeling equally pathetic for feeling sorry for myself.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Saturday morning and I wake up with a headache above my eyes and a crack in my heart like old porcelain. My MacBook comes to life and I’m pissed off that I’m behind on blogging about the amazing Greening of Detroit event that I will eventually have to get to later because to not write about it would be like throwing away a pound of perfectly sautéed black truffles, unheard of. But I want to get every detail down perfectly to do it justice. Ideas are flowing too quickly to get out on paper at this point and are escaping from my brain into the atmosphere probably never to be seen again.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I pull up his journal on LiveJournal because that is what I do now, every day, since he has sent me the link. And I’m not sure if I read it because I miss him so much that it’s hard to breathe or because his writing is so beautiful in a way that is devastating and surreal. I’ve heard authors describe women this way “devastatingly beautiful”, but I’m claiming this for his journal he gave up years ago. Somehow it inspires my writing but today all I can do is sit here and let lukewarm tears soak my cheeks with leftover mascara from the night before.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And now that I have this job, this job that requires me to check all baggage at the swinging kitchen door, there is a test of my emotions, of my personality. I not only have always worn my heart on my sleeve but my sadness in patches on my jeans and my jubilation in the crinkles at the corners of my eyes when I smile. But here, now, I have to cut and paste a smile on my face, glue my eyes forward, relax my jaw when I have too much on my mind, because my customers, though maybe not directly but in some sense like a sweat about to break on the surface of their skin, will sense a disturbance in the atmosphere, perhaps not when they walk in, or even through their bacon lardon salads and lamb sausages, but when the open their car doors to drive home, will know that their meal wasn’t the best it could be.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And that is not acceptable to me.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I know I just started here but I already feel I’ll never be cut out for this or be as talented as the people I work with. They can handle multiple tables and my heart races, breath shortens, speech becomes stuttered and tripped up at just 2 tables. Their fingers skitter across the expo. screen like deft machines, automatic and I bet they could close their eyes and still push all the right buttons. But it takes me 5 minutes to ring in one order. </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">All I want is their approval; I want them to know I can do this, that I can do it well, and I want nothing but to be here.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I wake up every morning in the anticipation of going into the city, waiting for the time to put on my ChefWare Apron, check the seating chart and grab a yellow polishing rag.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I love this life.</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-73225458013161230732009-09-20T12:03:00.002-04:002009-09-20T12:14:24.670-04:00Cook for Me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SrZUwdHtguI/AAAAAAAAAGk/dffTBP9xB5g/s1600-h/7930_536775131456_28502140_31819947_1171937_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SrZUwdHtguI/AAAAAAAAAGk/dffTBP9xB5g/s320/7930_536775131456_28502140_31819947_1171937_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383583595995431650" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--StartFragment--> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My idea of a date:</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I like white t-shirts and boys who can work their knives</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Make quick clean severs in a way I think they would be quick and clean drawing a line across my palate with their own tongue, tasting every part of me</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And if I were the smoke that rose from the burners I’d curl myself around his fingers, the scent of raw salt and olive oil, I’d stick to him the way the perpetual sweat does on the lines of his forehead when he concentrates.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I think my ideal date would be cliché with him, because he is food and all heat of the kitchen.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I think he would come to my apartment and we would walk a crossed the street to Holiday Market.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">It would be awkward, we’d smile for a brevity of seconds then look at the tile flooring or distract ourselves with produce, poking at fresh vegetables, wandering through the isles.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I’d steal glances of him, unused to the street clothes, the dirty wash jeans and glasses, used to the checkered pants and black bandana.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He’d ask me what I want for dinner and I, like a girl, would tell him that I’m indifferent and that I don’t care, that it is up to him, that he should surprise me.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Finally I’d make a deal with picking the wine and beer.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Jolly Pumpkin Bam Noir and a red blend, or maybe a cab for me.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Somehow I think he’d be surprised that I drink red wine, that I seem more like a Riesling girl.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I’d tell him that I used to be but am broadening my horizons...that I love a wine I can chew on.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He’d smile at that and I hope he’d be thinking that the red I chose would make my cheeks that color later on.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The food, at this point, is irrelevant because whatever is created by those deft and swift hands of his will taste of fervid longing and sexual tension, maybe the way marinated mushrooms do, or even a slow roasted animal of some deep forest.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I would tell him to teach me to cook.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">That I need lessons, this is my fantasy.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The apartment would be slightly warm from the pre-heating ovens and inadequate burners, puny compared to the ones he uses at the restaurant, but he will make do.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He’d switch into restaurant mode, lose sight and care of everything around him but the pan he works in his grip like I hope he will do to me later, maybe on the cement floor so my back bruises and I can secretly relish in the bluish marks from contact with the floor below me and his body above me.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I’d say his name, look at him, smile, pop a raw tomato dripping with water from being rinsed into my mouth, chew slowly, watching him the whole time, and he would forget about the pan and guide my hands over his on the handle, the heat from the steam and popping oil trapped between our pulse points.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">If some searing liquid escaped the pan onto my bare forearm he would guide my wrist to the sink and hold it under the ice-cold tap.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I’d shiver.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He’d keep looking.</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-13941924921293438182009-09-16T19:17:00.002-04:002009-09-16T19:28:54.487-04:00Heat of the Kitchen, Soul of a Server<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SrF0ly3aZ_I/AAAAAAAAAGc/rQvJ73VQ05g/s1600-h/DSCN2363.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SrF0ly3aZ_I/AAAAAAAAAGc/rQvJ73VQ05g/s320/DSCN2363.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382211222342625266" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I have to prove myself</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I know these things:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I have a college degree</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I am a writer</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I am living on my own</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Serving is a fucking difficult job. I don't care what anyone says.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">"Why would you move here?" People give me the face of something moldy and stagnant, or give me that "oh you poor lost girl" look.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">love</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">it</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Last night I had 2 tables. Two.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">How the hell can the rest of the staff do 15 tops and 8 tops at the same time? 3 and 4 for me and I lost my wine key, lost both of my pens, ordered the wrong beer (IPA instead of Dogfish Head) and stuttered like some shy 3 year old would when asked her age or favorite color.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">College degree? That doesn't mean shit here.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But I leave at 11:30 smelling of roasted suckling pig and fried capers. My skin is sheen from evaporated olive oil over burners. I feel like a little boy with my new cropped, chestnut haircut, white oxford, orange tie, black chucks and knee length apron.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But its the bitten lips from nervousness, the heavy scent of toasted marshmallow and cayenne pepper, pan grease and rosemary fries that leaves me "hot and bothered."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Ive found I have to take the kitchen in doses for fear of becoming too sexually charged, afraid it will show in my cheeks and mannerisms, crossed legs, licking butter off the corners of my mouth, eyeing the chefs from the peripheries of my eyes. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Sweat drips down the crevices of my body but the heat of the kitchen drives me forward in more ways than you could imagine.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My nails are still marrow red.</span></div>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-57919589132983128102009-09-15T08:38:00.002-04:002009-09-15T08:53:03.960-04:00Expo. Deux<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sq-ODtPt9aI/AAAAAAAAAGU/fqIqIlmvynM/s1600-h/meat47hands01(1).jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 315px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sq-ODtPt9aI/AAAAAAAAAGU/fqIqIlmvynM/s320/meat47hands01(1).jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381676274067305890" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Andy drizzles balsamic reduction onto the porterhouse that the menu suggests for 2 but could really feed a pack of wolves</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Ingredients scroll though my head, followed by preparation and random facts as I watch him over the metal island, wiping stray flecks off the white porcelain.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Porter House</span></span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">48 oz.</span></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">cut off the bone for convenience and a presented plated presented with the two parts of meat: strip steak and filet</span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> served with a balsamic steak sauce</span></span></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> -onion, garlic, sage, rosemary, clove, celery seed chili powder</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> -balsamic and white wine vinaigrette</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> -ketchup, brown sugar, raisins</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I know the sauce is simmered and reduced, then handed off to chef who finishes off the dish at the final plating station.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> “Runner!”</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“I’m your girl!”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“52 seat 2”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">*</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The knives are slow and steady now. It’s early and the only “rush” going on is happy hour, with the exception of the porter house, little wonders of goat tacos, fried brussle sprouts, goat cheese mac and cheese and the oh so sumptuously delectable Roast Burger served on an English muffin topped with a quivering fried egg, make their way to the front of the restaurant, via black stripped clad wait staff.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">My face feels sunburnt.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">People say a kitchen is a kitchen but being here makes me think of Zinc back in Sandusky and how different every component is, down to the last call.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">When I watch those boys cook it reminds me of my writing, fixated, concentrated on every detail, pinched brow, eloquent hands.</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Dude I spend $35 on chanterelles this weekend.” Somewhere in the back of my mind I’m hoping Andy is interested in my love of food, that he gets that I’m not just working this job for a paycheck. I thrive on the heat of the burners and what he does with his hands and a large knife.</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Yeah? The mushroom guy there? At the farmers market I mean.” Andy doesn’t look up from his brenoise of carrot and celery but I sense interest in his voice.”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Ha, oh was he.”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“What did you do to them?”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“The mushrooms?”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“No, the mushroom people,” he snorts. “Yeah the mushrooms silly girl.”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Roasted them, balsamic, lemon olive oil, a little salt and cracked pepper, nothing fancy.”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Chef in the making, hmm?”</span></span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Word”</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">*</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And the heat is on. A 15 top walk in ordered 6 lobster salads and god knows what else.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The boys are on high gear, plates are shuffled and dealt like a deck of cards, perfection, in rose pink dressing, like sauce, chunks of watermelon and plumb pieces of poached lobster and shrimp in a neat little pile on the plate. Bright green dusting, a garnish of pistachio finishes it off. I’ve already tasted the dish and can feel the slight heat in the back of my throat from the hint of ginger and jalapeño. </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">*</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“2 Out 16!”</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Fire seconds on thirty! “</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Sides on 40 on the fly!”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">They each have their own dance. Andy stays smooth and steady like running water. Calm, even when the atmosphere around him is about to burst. I look at him sometimes and wonder what he is thinking, working these long hours only recreating a design, and artwork that is not his own. I want to know what his ideas are, what he would create if he had the freedom. Instead he ensures perfection of someone else’s vision. Is he stifled?</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">He wears rubber loves, chopping chilies the color of my nails.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Fire 24!”</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Resting 24!</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Every so often my nose picks up a scent of something new out of the familiar wafts of salt and oil.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Here, try some of this.”</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Norm hands me a sliver of Humboldt fog that tastes of vineyard soil after a midnight rain. Herbal, piquant, with a big of tang like orange or apricot rind. Maybe some asparagus too, like someone roasted the tips a big to long, ashy and salty but full bodied.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I’m wondering if I will last.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-22050280628930385782009-09-09T08:05:00.003-04:002009-09-09T13:21:06.696-04:00Stream of Conscious in the Kitchen<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sqfj9nWIusI/AAAAAAAAAGM/DLNwtbkxl-Y/s1600-h/3838170237_e38ff31afd.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sqfj9nWIusI/AAAAAAAAAGM/DLNwtbkxl-Y/s320/3838170237_e38ff31afd.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379518927590701762" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The pace of the kitchen is serene and steady, as much as a kitchen like this one can be. Behind the expo. station I have planted myself next to a stack of plates and over the metal island the tops of the chefs heads make a bobbing kind of horizon line as they prepare themselves for what will turn out to be an unusually hectic night. Now it’s calm before the storm, but a storm that this city needs to saturate its struggling economy.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Now there is time for jokes, cracking and spattering from their mouths like grease heating up on a tepid Caphlon pan. In the 5 minutes I’ve been observing it is obvious we are all our own animals here and they are cheetahs, graceful and stealth before sprinting into a beautiful flurry. I am a prairie dog, curious and peeking out over a vast land of wonders.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">There is music, bebop rhythm of silver wear being polished, burners, fired, ovens whispering with open flame and the sweet hint of laughter and random conversation.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">A film of oil and sweat highlights my cheekbones and neck, and I know I’ve absorbed this indefinitely, I secrete the kitchen. So this is the “soul of a chef”, I ponder, silent.</span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-57053222066620337132009-09-07T22:53:00.002-04:002009-09-07T22:55:43.449-04:00Condiments<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SqXHlgXqHrI/AAAAAAAAAGE/tGeKHoi6zcs/s1600-h/DSCN2364.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SqXHlgXqHrI/AAAAAAAAAGE/tGeKHoi6zcs/s320/DSCN2364.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378924777122176690" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“We are all condiments, in our own way, some compliment each other better than others. “</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">“We all have a taste that is yet to be explored”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My nails are painted marrow red, I told him.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He has a nice mouth and exquisite palate.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Balsamic and strawberries, is how I think we should be, his preference</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> A little tart, a bite of something wise and earth worn</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nectarous and piquant </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He tastes, I think, what a fresh bruise on skin would taste like</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You’re the boss applesauce</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I will say</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Relent as butter would on the steaming, soft center of fresh brioche</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I tell him I want to flow and fade on his mouth that way</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He tells me he succumbs like a slice of Iberico ham who’s fat melts at the touch of the lips to fork to meat, hint of acorn aroma to his nostrils, that I am complex that way</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> And I want to fall apart the way braised meat does at the slight touch of a fork, I want his hands to do that to me.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> *</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">When we talk of fruits I tell him I am a ripening peach in his morning glow</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And he says I would be the one he would pluck from the highest branch…one he would smell from miles and travel off the beaten path to sink his teeth into</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And I told him he could extract everything from me, and run down his chin, past his neck</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And that I’m smiling</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He says my smile is a plump Michigan cherry, bursting with honeyed, provocative juices, a bite for something ever so small and delicate</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">* </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">And I can imagine his musk is something of braised short ribs, roasted whole chicken, golden like the crevices of his joints and the sweet/saltiness of bacon and mirepoix</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">His mouth would taste of bourbon and Guinness.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A spirit thick as a milkshake.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He is one who can handle spontaneity and multiplicity.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A chef in the kitchen with every burner on high.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am his fire as his hand draws the flame upward into his palm.</span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Condiments.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We compliment each other like poached pear and fois gras.</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-43098679142779242532009-09-07T07:36:00.002-04:002009-09-07T07:38:10.882-04:00New Beginnings and Severed Strings<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I have started a new life and thus have been absent.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My writing has come to a halt but shall reignite today.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Patience loves.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Lo</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">vE</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">-H.</span></div>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-36403624043765480652009-09-04T11:55:00.002-04:002009-09-04T11:58:24.888-04:00Nerves<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SqE5ApjKmjI/AAAAAAAAAF8/jIsJPsj5p-c/s1600-h/2137059537_37c2755bd1.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SqE5ApjKmjI/AAAAAAAAAF8/jIsJPsj5p-c/s320/2137059537_37c2755bd1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377642113373215282" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Encouragement would taste of fresh baguette and truffle oil, eaten off of a paper plate, unadorned, licking fingers at the finish.</span>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-66148565909393136422009-09-03T08:48:00.003-04:002009-09-03T09:08:10.613-04:00"Step Delicately"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sp-_LrRZDTI/AAAAAAAAAF0/GbMPZbJw6UU/s1600-h/5928_1100611882333_1437750689_30291676_1237733_n+(1).jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sp-_LrRZDTI/AAAAAAAAAF0/GbMPZbJw6UU/s320/5928_1100611882333_1437750689_30291676_1237733_n+(1).jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377226687418797362" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">-Photo by K. Rowe</span></span></div><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">One becomes accustomed to a home, making it cozy and pulsating with the beat of the heart as if you have wrapped yourself in a blanket.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">These are the things I have become used to and am unsure if I should find other things to replace them or relish them in a little Mason Jar, glowing like fireflies on ripe fruit.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Waking facing the sunrise in my bed, slits of my eyes drinking in the blue, burgundy gold of the sun spilling over the horizon, like a gooseberry stain on white cloth, the smell of 6AM coffee, sweet/sour and vigorous </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My fathers heavy steps in the kitchen above my room shuffling and meandering back and forth from burner to counter to refrigerator, the rhythm of knives and clanking bowls on granite a kind of soothing folk or jazz melody. Not actually seeing him with my own eyes but the thought of him above me, apron clad and pinched but happy brow, colors dotting the cutting boards like a painters palate.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The dirtied dishes of homemade chocolate pudding and root beer floats and my mothers lessons of how importance indulgence is. And my 1AM excursions to the fridge to fulfill my own with whipped cream cans.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The restaurant I've made my home away from bed. The back entrance beckoning me with smells only the compact kitchen there, on that street, beside the brick alleyway, can divulge, the smiles, greetings, grunts, laughs, love touches. People I know beyond the white Polo's and black dress pants. Whose souls are as </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">scrumptious</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> as each dish chef prepares. I would drink their blood and sweat like vintage wine and aged balsamic. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I used to have a bad taste in my mouth about this town, sour and bitter, tainting my </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">taste buds</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But now...</span></span></div>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-89078004089931900732009-09-02T13:32:00.003-04:002009-09-02T13:35:24.107-04:00Brine of the Earth<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sp6siUP_ElI/AAAAAAAAAFs/JkpHWj1sLVA/s1600-h/438628363_7597d59a5b.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sp6siUP_ElI/AAAAAAAAAFs/JkpHWj1sLVA/s320/438628363_7597d59a5b.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376924710678237778" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Someone declared that there are 7 basic needs to survive</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> There are only two that exist to me</span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">1.</span></span></span><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">L</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"></span></span></span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">ove</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">2.</span></span></span><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Sustenance</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Everything falls into place</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">There is an element of food and of sharing food with someone you have grown to love (in whatever way) that evokes something…primordial…instinctual…sensual.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And because I have no one to share that inherent hunger with, a hunger for food that awakens the senses, a hunger for another’s touch…you sometimes find yourself wondering…is it fish or meat or pasta I crave? Is it the warmth of the bread beyond the crust? Or is it is full, sumptuous mouth on mine?</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><a href="http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-truffles.htm"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Truffles</span></span></span></span></a></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">, enoki, chanterelle, portabella, </span></span></span><a href="http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-shiitake.htm"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">shiitake</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">, oyster, trompette royal, hen of the woods. The terrestrial opulence of the thick taste on my tongue curls my toes the way they do when I’m half clothed, lying, waiting for him and his scent. Wondering how or why taste and smell are connected.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">To Dine with him</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">To watch him eat with such grace</span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Like a calligraphist</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Lissome fingers that balance and caress</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">To smell the smoke from the corners of his mouth</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">My father’s words echo </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">“I never could understand how chefs are able to smoke. It effects the flavor palate, the taste buds, taste becomes muted and dull, like watching black and white TV.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">He kissed me once in the wash of streetlamps and told me he smelled and tasted a hint of truffle right below my left nostril, hovering above the bow of my lip.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">To drink with him. Delicate Silhouettes of wine glasses like spider webs after rain. I told him</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> “Wine glasses are men and wine are women. The glass embodies the more delicate fluid, the flowery, fruity, impregnated, pungent juices of a woman. But the male, the body, releases, brings out her hidden, discrete, barely perceptible secrets that make her unique from the others, blossoms her.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And that night he poured sweet wine from his mouth to mine, with the same eloquence in the way he ate.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> </span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Did not</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Spill</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">A</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Single</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Drop</span></span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-24176298551169018652009-09-02T08:36:00.004-04:002009-09-02T08:45:02.345-04:00on hold.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sp5oxkjT6PI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TCK7xzlv7t8/s1600-h/3337375764_67d271864e.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 216px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/Sp5oxkjT6PI/AAAAAAAAAFk/TCK7xzlv7t8/s320/3337375764_67d271864e.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376850205961611506" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Because I know some read my words when they first wake up, I say today, patience loves...I have a good excuse...a night of epic foodstuffs and a soulmate of company.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">New things for your taste later-ish :)</span></span></div>All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-53171662911285339742009-08-31T08:34:00.003-04:002009-08-31T08:49:56.299-04:00Breaking Bread<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SpvG1f_a-RI/AAAAAAAAAFc/zM4ClU1u2cI/s1600-h/my-last-supper_000.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 164px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SpvG1f_a-RI/AAAAAAAAAFc/zM4ClU1u2cI/s320/my-last-supper_000.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376109202619693330" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">A book of Last Suppers</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Of confessions and eloquent suggestions</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Of eggs and roast chicken </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Of caviar and oysters</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Of salt and sweetness of fruit juices</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Of wine aged years into eternity</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And you never asked me</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">What my last meal would be</span></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-69419769215315164492009-08-29T08:39:00.002-04:002009-08-29T08:47:10.738-04:00Rebirth<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SpkjJFxUx-I/AAAAAAAAAEs/QtxEVc74QQ0/s1600-h/n28500165_30806117_1221.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 235px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SpkjJFxUx-I/AAAAAAAAAEs/QtxEVc74QQ0/s320/n28500165_30806117_1221.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375366269318252514" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Garamond, fantasy;"><b><br /></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Ohio is flat.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It is quiet in the way that quiet can be unsettling, like you wish that a car would crash outside your window just to make the atmosphere vibrate a bit.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Last week you were sitting in the coffee shop you find yourself in almost religiously, as if a triple grande nonfat cappuccino is your sacrament and the foam that is left over is your prayer.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">But the point isn’t the cappuccino or the $3.49 you spend on it.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It’s that clang of the register opening, jolting you that day that wasn’t particularly different than other day.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It jolted you so much, in fact, the boy behind the counter let himself laugh a little, one short burst of air through his lips.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">You remember him blushing in a way that a teenager blushes from just the touch of a woman’s fingertips with the passing of change.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">“Awake now, huh?”</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">his voice cracking.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Should you have said no?</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">You wonder if he smells like baking biscotti when he comes home from the job the way the ends of your hair hold the scent of grease, butter and seared fish.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">We hold things in scents and smells.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Perhaps that is who we are, what we taste and smell of.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">*</span></span></span></b><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Touch feels like foreign hands acquainting themselves with my skin on my back.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Intimate touch is unfamiliar, unrecognizable, and incomparable.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It is in the way the heels of his hands press and kneed my flesh to penetrate muscle just below the surface the way my grandmother has kneaded her own bread from fresh rosemary rolls.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And I’m a child again peering up on tiptoes watching those hands work the dough and I beg just to push the tips of my fingers into it.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I felt the drumbeats between my ribs before I see the boys with their hands in a whir hunched over cylinders held between their knees.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The fire illuminating them and washing their faces and tops of their arms in a burnt glow like an oil painting thrown into a hearth.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Colors bleed and I can’t tell the difference between the beats of their hands on stretched hide or the heat of my heart. </span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Fire crackling against parched wood and a few of them, looking as if they grew from the earth themselves, picking vegetables from their garden outlined in fine twine so only they can pass through.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I watch them penetrate the raw meat and fresh vegetables dripping with hose water with wooden skewers before feeding them to the flames, dripping with water and juice and grease.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">This is what rebirth smells like.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It smells of burning word and cardboard boxes empty of beer cans; it smells of wet grass and fresh mud from left of afternoon downpours.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It smells of land that is hungry for water and warmth, waiting to become tanned and baked from and oven sun, newly thawed.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It smells like perfume in my hair, infused by the smoke from burning ash from cigarettes and chopped wood.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It smells of hemp and something tangy and brewing like a substance would over an open fire.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">He looks over the glare of his glasses at me, his hands moving the way I wish they would on my body, across my skin, over the slight waves of my muscles.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I imagine him taking his patient time to trace every dip and curve.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">He decided to dance instead, another smaller guy filling his space over the drum, and joins the others around the fire, stomping, clapping.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">He sways and the girl in from of him raises her arms above her shaved head as she circles the fire, her wrists crossed there.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I can feel him pinning my arms above me, wrists crossed, his palm pressing into where they overlap.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">He is stronger than me, a surprising strength that reverberates in my ears and off the palms of his hands onto the stretched animal skins.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And I can feel those same hands on me with callused palms and limber fingers, working my skin as his hands work the drum in from of him now, swear smearing from the heat of the fire, the heat of my flesh radiating from somewhere inside of my abdomen.</span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I look at him and want the world to pause so I can make him look at me, just hold his gaze so it feels like raindrops on my flesh.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It’s humid and the air feels like I imagine his breath would feel on the back of my neck and behind my ears, settling in damp head, sliding down the spaces and crevices that are secrets from the light, places only his mouth would find.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3094562162843412335.post-77300951581091932292009-08-28T10:59:00.002-04:002009-08-28T11:05:27.111-04:00Bruises...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SpfyIpqdvNI/AAAAAAAAAEk/84PyuuFPibY/s1600-h/2168429207_b6ab5f5a0b.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_68xSrrVFraY/SpfyIpqdvNI/AAAAAAAAAEk/84PyuuFPibY/s320/2168429207_b6ab5f5a0b.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5375030910726814930" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Garamond, fantasy;"><b><br /></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;">.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">..are the temporary ink spots of the skin.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Carl Philips rushes into me when I study the haphazard, discolored shapes strewn across my body.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">How they resemble my tattoos, how they are the most crude sketches of my skin, inkblots.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">My flesh is like a peach or some other soft fruit, maybe a banana or an apricot.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">“ Bruises disperse after a time.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I have always admired that about the flesh.”</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">*</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">If I were I fruit I’d be a peach, or distant relative of such.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Voluptuous and pregnant of juice and tang.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I’d run down your lips and chin subtly, just to be close to that supple flesh.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">*</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Sometimes I wake up to the view of the inside of my arm, head buried in the crook of my elbow joint, and all I see is a gray-apricot blur like early morning thunderstorms over a choppy lake, where the sun tries to peek through the atmosphere.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">When I uncurl myself there is a fresh smudge of blue-purple skin.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">From what?</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">I’ve learned to stop guessing.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Unless accompanied by splotches of maroon elsewhere on my body, teeth marks and strands of faded, plush lines across my shoulder blades that puncture my taught skin.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">But nothing is more beautiful than the bruise, an inside out star or planet on a sky of skin.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Galaxies of forgotten moments dispersed on limbs.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">For a time I thought he never bruised.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">That the richness of his flesh absorbed any other color.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">It wasn’t fair that he could leave marks on me but mine on him would disappear the instant my teeth left his shoulder, chest or neck.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Humans leave their marks as animals do.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Possession, claiming something as their own to share or not, or perhaps just to leave a reminder of territory previously explored.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Maybe I didn’t trust that he was mine and only mine.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">He thought I wanted to brand him, make him my possession, burn myself into him like hot iron on hide.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">But that was his motive, not mine.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">My marks were reminders for him, notes on a scroll of flesh to make sure he did not forget me.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">So when he emerged from the shower he would see the brief line of purple on his chest right below his collarbone, because I learned that was where his flesh was most supple.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Condensation would gather there and he would be reminded of ivory teeth on olive oil skin.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">Maybe, I like to think, he would run the nub of his thumb over the felt tip like line where my teeth had been.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">*</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Garamond;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCCC;">And I suppose that is why fruit is the most illustrious, and virginal of the earth.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->All Colors are Minehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02566887621644633487noreply@blogger.com0